This is hard. Like really hard. It's pretty hysterical that I thought things were hard before the big D word. I just want to hide in my hobbit hole of a house and not participate in real life. What is real life even mean? It's definitely real life here inside our hobbit hole. A life that I am barely holding together. This is hard. I'm tired. With no end in sight. My body is tired. My soul is tired. My heart is in tatters. Things got a little bit more out-of-control after oceans horrific oral surgery. We all had a big setback emotionally and with diabetes upkeep. I feel like every time I turn around and think that I can't handle anything more, something else is piled on. So now I walk around waiting for the next big life hurdle that we are just supposed to deal with. How much can a person take? No like seriously, I wonder if there have been studies done about people in crises. How much is too much? Ocean was in the hospital in March but every day is a brand-new heart wrenching learning experience. My Grandfather died last month and tonight my sweet husband's father is in the hospital in pretty serious condition. Come on! Do we not deserve a break? What the hell is up with 2016?

Well, well, well. As I write this my kiddo just starting laughing historically about...well pretty much nothing. Just laughing because he can. Laughing to make himself laugh. I thank God for his joyful soul. It helps it not feel like too much every single second.