I dreamt of having a family someday as a child. Not necessarily a big one but I dreamed of falling in love, building a life together, being a mom. Once I married my love the dream of being a mom became even more powerful. I started imagining what our life would be like. The kind of mother I would be - how we would spend our days. The three of us carrying on with laughter and joy - our love being enough to carry us through. I had a million ideas on how to be the best mom - and a million plans to have the most fun. I would simultaneously nurture my own passions, while being an extraordinary mother and a phenomenal wife. 😱 I seriously thought this was possible - even more so once I married Scott and life was a fairy tail. Fast forward to the week from hell that started with Ocean having his scariest low ever and ended with me turning into a monster on him today when he was being a normal little (but loud) boy while daddy was trying to nap. There’s a pit in my heart where my dreams used to be. Haha that’s kind of dramatic but still it’s kinda true. I guess I’m glad I didn’t know how hard things would be - it may have scared me away. And even though this life isn’t anything like what I imagined for myself the love I always wanted is there and you know what? Its enough.